Thursday, February 6, 2014

A vow to my child: I will not break you

My son is nearly 16 and the years have flown by at light speed.
It seems like I blinked and the years were gone.

It seems like just yesterday he was 4 years old, running circles around my feet while giggling and rattling off lines from his favorite movies...

Ahhh... he loved movies, specifically movies on repeat, as I called it. The same ones over and over again. It was endearing to me.

I use to be a prolific journal writer. I kept a handwritten journal from the time I was 14 until I was 32. The consistency of writing in it meandered as the years passed. 

From time to time I go back and read these journals.

One particular thing I noticed that has been consistence throughout my reflections was

"I don't want to break his spirit"

Throughout the years others have tried though... I watched his smile fade as he encountered ignorance and lack of acceptance (specifically in school). I remember looking at this brown headed blue-eyed cutie and thinking "Why can't they just see what I do?"

 I have watched that smile return the past 2 years and his spark reignite as we found a place for him in the world where others  DID see him the way I did. A place where he is accepted and respected.

It wasn't about changing him to fit the world, it was more about changing the world around him to fit what he needed.

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